he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
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