Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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