belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
