their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
