I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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