Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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