When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize