Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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