"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize