Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
