hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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