Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
