Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
