Your dad touched me again.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
