It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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