he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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