This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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