I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
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