Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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