I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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