it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
