whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
