I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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