I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
