So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
