Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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