She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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