He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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