you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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