Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
