pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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