shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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