you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
