She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize