i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize