she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
