I look better un-naked...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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