Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
