Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
