sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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