im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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