3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
