Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
