he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
