can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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