and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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