I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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