listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize