If i come over, it means nothing
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
