I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
