all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
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Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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