Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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