But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
