I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
