I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
