like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
