I wish my penis had an off switch
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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