it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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