So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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