dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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