The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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